Pepper Jack: Damn, girl. Who you with?
Dee: Oh. I think you got the wrong idea. I’m not with anybody.
Pepper Jack: Word? Well lookee here. Maybe if you get up off that crack rock, you can come and be Pepper Jack’s best ho.
Dee: Oh, no. I’m not on any crack rock. Tha— I mean, one— Okay, one time I was hooked on the crack rock. But tha— that was because I was trying to get on welfare and fail a drug test. But that stuff, you gotta be careful because it’ll mess you— Why are you asking? Do you have some on you?
Dennis: Hi! Uh, sir, I’m sorry. We’re trying to conduct a little business here.
Pepper Jack: Oh. Pepper Jack’s trying to conduct some business here, too. You with this cracker?
Dee: N— No. Well, technically, we drove here together. But I’m not with anybody.
Pepper Jack: Well, you heard it. Your bitch chose me.
Dee: Oh, well, see now Pepper Jack, I feel like we’re miscommunicating.
Pepper Jack: Um. Bitch? You speak when spoken to now.
Dennis: Oh, no. No, sir, you know what? We’re just gonna get out of here. Dee, let’s go.
Pepper Jack: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, now you’re not just gonna come up here and take Pepper Jack’s best ho. You want this ho back, Pepper Jack needs to get paid.
Dennis: Pepper Jack, are you serious?
Pepper Jack: Do Pepper Jack look like he’s playin’!?
Dee: I don’t think Pepper Jack’s playing, Dennis.
Dennis: I feel like Pepper Jack’s not playing, either.
Pepper Jack: No, Pepper Jack is NOT playing. In fact, Pepper Jack about to cut somebody.
Dennis: Please don’t cut!
Dee: No cutting! That’s not necessary.
Dennis: Alright, how much.
Pepper Jack: Well, what you got?
Dennis: I don’t know. Seven bucks and a stupid thermos.
Pepper Jack: Is that Fraggle Rock?
Dennis: …Yeah.
Pepper Jack: Oh, Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock.
Me:”Who doesn’t!”
Dead person:”Fraggle Rock was a poor man’s Sesame Street.”
Me:”I’ll kill you.”
